This is not my ceiling
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
