Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
