Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
