Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
