she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
