we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
