Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
i think my cat just said my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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