Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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