She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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