New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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