normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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