Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
