I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize