My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
