Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
