we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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