first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
