can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
