I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize