Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
