what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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