Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
People with herpes should wear stickers.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
