so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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