Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
