:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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