I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
