Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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