I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize