you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
