he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
