Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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