I just made out with a guy for $7.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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