Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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