I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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