Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
