There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
