Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
