The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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