They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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