You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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