He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm determined to sit on that face.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
