It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
