What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I am midnight drunk by noon
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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