if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
