So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
