There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize