My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize