please come you make the beer taste better
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She even gives head with a lisp.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
