I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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