He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
