Swine flu. Run for my life!
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
