this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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