My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
