so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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