So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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