I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
