im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
And then my night got REAL pukey
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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