OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
