Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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