When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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