Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
