Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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