we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
