haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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