Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
