She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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