thus making me awesome and them whores
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
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