somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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