I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
